6 Weeks and Praying

So, I am now 6 weeks. Here is the time when the future is uncertain. Lost my other babies between the 6th and 8 weeks. So you can see my nervousness. I soooooo want this baby to be okay but at the same time I fear the worst. I hope for the best. My next appointment is April 6th. I will be 8 weeks then. If I have no bleeding then we should be able to see a heartbeat. That would be AWESOME. My Mom asked me, when I went to visit for the weekend, if I wanted a girl or boy. I told her...... it did not matter. I could see Noah as a big brother to a little sister, but I could also see him wrestling with a little brother too. My Mom, bless her heart. She said..... Noah needs to be a big brother! Reactions of my other kids? Well..... Kayla (the oldest) said she would sell it on eBay! )I know she would love it!), Ashley (my second) was very excited and offered up a name for a boy or girl. She came at me with Romeo or Juliette. What's with that? I admit.... I like Juliette but NOT Romeo. Anyway, the others? Did not tell them. Not until we know that all is safe. Then we will let the cat out of the bag so to speak. Well, gonna go and do some well ventilated painting and then off to Ben and Jerry's for some free ice cream! Here i come Chocolate Therapy!!!!

New Beginnings!

So..... since my last entry this is what I have learned..... not to bring in the trash that I have already taken out! Need an explanation? Ok. Here it is. When you give your fears and your concerns and your sins to God you don't take them back. I gave Him this pregnancy, this baby, and all my fears surrounding them. But I keep trying to bring them back inside me. THIS IS NOT WHAT HE WANTS US TO DO!!!! Now every time I begin to worry about the fate of my baby I tell myself. "God has this one handled. I am powerless but He is powerful!" Since then I have had peace about this pregnancy. By no means do I want to lose this child but I do have to accept His will. I can't wait to see what He has in store for this child!

Thought I was done

Well.... thought I was done with this site. Yesterday I took out my last pregnancy test and took it. Little did I realize that it was going to be positive!!!!! I so want to be excited and happy but it is so hard when you are scared about loosing the baby. Went to the doctors and had an ultrasound done. Only 4 weeks along.... have 8 weeks to be out of the woods! Can't stand this.... all the worry! I want the baby to be ok and be healthy! I don't now how I am going to get through this next two months... if there are two months. Well.... will update soon! Take care!

Last Post

Well..... have come to the conclusion that this is not meant to be. Hard as it is..... I hope anyone who reads my blog will at least find some comfort an know that God has a plan for them. And if a child was meant to be in that plan He will provide. And remember..... there are LOTS of children out there who NEED someone that will love them unconditionally. And to those we lost..... we will hold them forever in our hearts! Be well, God Bless and Babydust!!!